Partial to Martial 1

Euroclassicist has been amusing himself by making versions of some of Martial’s epigrams. Here are a few samples:

1.1

Hic est quem legis ille, quem requiris,
toto notus in orbe Martialis
argutis epigrammaton libellis:
cui, lector studiose, quod dedisti
viventi decus atque sentienti,
rari post cineres habent poetae.

Dear Readers, here’s the one to whom you’re partial,
Your favourite poet: M. Valerius Martial.
A crowd of you each day the bookshop crams
To buy his witty books of epigrams.
The praise you give him, gentlemen and ladies,
Is mostly given to poets down in Hades.
But he’s not ready for the depths of Hell:
In fact he’s here now, still alive and well.


1.4

Contigeris nostros, Caesar, si forte libellos,
terrarum dominum pone supercilium.
consuevere iocos vestri quoque ferre triumphi,
materiam dictis nec pudet esse ducem.
qua Thymelen spectas derisoremque Latinum,
illa fronte precor carmina nostras legas.
innocuos censura potest permittere lusus:
lasciva est nobis pagina, vita proba.

If, o my lord, you condescend to look
At my small efforts in this little book,
Please do not let your brows in rage be furled
Although that fits the ruler of the world.
Triumphal jokes made in my lord’s procession
Are licensed by an emperor’s concession.
My jokes are like those of a cheeky comic;
Allow your frown, then, to be economic.
My poems must be rated as “18”,
But even if they’re filthy, I am clean.


1.10

Petit Gemellus nuptias Maronillae
et cupit et instat et precatur et donat.
adeone pulchra est? immo foedius nil est.
quid ergo in illa petitur et placet? tussit.

Jimmy wants to marry Jane.
He’s got gifts and flowers to give.
In fact she is a real pain,
But she’s got three weeks to live.


1.16

Sunt bona, sunt quaedam mediocria, sunt mala plura
quae legis hic: aliter non fit, Avite, liber.

Some poems here are pretty good,
Some scarcely worth a look.
But in the end, you need them all
To make up one whole book.

1. 23

Invitas nullum nisi cum quo, Cotta, lavaris
et dant convivam balnea sola tibi.
mirabar quare numquam me, Cotta, vocasses:
iam scio me nudum displicuisse tibi.

Cotta asks you to join him for food
In the baths with your kit off – how rude!
But he never asks me.
Why is this? Well, you see:
I don’t look too good in the nude.


1.28

Hesterno fetere mero qui credit Acerram,
fallitur: in lucem semper Acerra bibit.

All day he has the kind of stink,
Which must be due to last night’s drink.
He drinks so late his drunken haze
Is not last night’s, but still today’s.